10 THINGS YOU MAY BE DOING THAT ARE RUINING EVERYBODY'S GIG

Applauding:

Venues' overheads during these uncertain times are extortionate…and you have the gall to not have a beer in your hand?? Work on your one-raised-eyebrow-slight-frown-and-nod-in-approval between songs and buy some drinks ffs.

Forgetting to use your phone:

It looks bland when you go to a show and aren't surrounded by auteurs videoing the whole thing or constantly taking snapshots. How will all of our Facebook friends know we were there if you leave your phone in your pocket? And make sure you have the flash turned on or else you won't be able to make out the expression on the frontman's face from 50 meters away.

Keeping your cool when your $10 beer gets poured into a plastic cup:

You've paid for an expensive status symbol, and the jerk behind the bar has just done away with that in one slow, awkward pour! Time to get angry, especially if someone bumps into your hand and almost spills it.  You're in a crowded room - why should you have to hold your drink close to your body to avoid inevitable mishaps? Getting angry is all part of the collective experience at the best gigs!  Anyway, all beer tastes yuck anyway.  We'd prefer to be drinking cruisers.

Watching and/or appreciating the band:

Nobody paid to have a shared experience here, buddy. The only reason anyone even came to this show that sold out in 6 minutes is to be able to tell people who they kind of know that they were here. So as long as you've got some selfies and/or video footage, you're good to go.  Get those out of the way by about half way through, then you can talk loudly with your friends. Constantly. It's antisocial if you don't.

Saving your drugs for the after party:

You've found out the band is going to be hanging at Cherry after the show. I have no idea how you came up with that information, but you must be a hipster with all the right connects. But seriously, don't wait for that. Make sure you time your double so you start sweating bullets about 5 minutes into the headliner's set - that way you can dance like nobody's watching and shout out requests and unwittingly rub your sweaty body against strangers who are desperate for your sweaty attention. Nothing's worse than going to a gig and missing out on standing next to a golden god.

FOMO:

So you're not really into the band, but you hear their show is going to sell out crazy fast, and you want to lord your supremacy over your Facebook friends. Make sure you get on your computer and snap up those tickets! You can always scalp them on eBay later on.

Using your peripheral vision:

Someone's got a full load of beer and are cleverly, with minimal spillage, navigating their way through the crowd to their group of friends. Noticing this in your peripheries, you assist their passage with minimal exertion.  But where's the fun in that? Here's what you do: while standing in a loose group so there's just enough room to get through, but only if you move slightly to your left…just don't move. That way, the beer carrier gets an enjoyable challenge, and you get to glare at them angrily while they brush against your jacket sleeve on the way through.

Buying booze:

The point of a show is to enjoy a band playing live - why do you need to be drinking, too?  Think about it!  All of those trips to the bar ruins everyone else's experience because they may have to move slightly while you walk past, and you may block their vision for half a second.  Added to that, unless you're super careful, you're definitely going to spill at least one entire beer on someone while dancing back from the bar to where your friends are.

Being tall:

Good for you. You get to hit your head on door frames.  But why do you always have to find where I am, and be standing in front of me? I've looked around at the rest of the assembly, and you definitely have the largest head in the room. It's fucking MASSIVE! And you have been at the last 5 shows I've been to.  Just stop being that.

Walking a short distance from the exit before lighting up:

It's been a long show, I'm sure you're desperate for a cigarette.  You know what, weirdly, all the non-smokers are hanging for one too!  Don't walk down the road for twenty seconds before lighting up or they'll miss their fix.

SUMMARY:

Almost everyone at a show is at least a bit annoying - have some tolerance, use good judgment and, basically, just don't be a dick.

*The author is a tall, occasional smoker with excellent vision who drinks expensive beer.

Hottest 100 Votes for 2011

#1 song for 2011: The Strokes - Life is Simple in the Moonlight

10 votes for the hottest 100 (in no particular order)

Lana Del Rey - Video Games
Architecture In Helsinki - Contact High
The Horrors - Still Life
Radiohead - Lotus Flower
Foster The People - Houdini
Bon Iver - Holocene
The Strokes - Taken For A Fool
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know {Ft. Kimbra}
Jagwar Ma - Come And Save Me
Beastie Boys - Make Some Noise

Julian Casablancas interviewed on San Francisco Radio

Interview with Julian Casablancas on KUSF San Francisco 19^th November 2009

Interviewer DJ Cookie Costello

The interviewer prefaced this by complaining about the opening band sound checking during her interview and Julian’s mumbling, meaning that the radio interview that was broadcast was edited, sometimes a little strangely. Some of it was pretty difficult to hear but hopefully you’ll get a better idea of the interview with my transcription – he always has some pretty cool things to say. Enjoy.

INT: So when and why did you decide to make a solo album?

Julian Casablancas: When and why… When, about two and a half years ago, I would say. Why…I had some songs that I had written that… I was kind of short on band members. I think they needed to get some stuff out of their system and so they weren’t ready to focus on The Strokes so I guess I just felt like I didn’t have a choice.

INT: What have been the biggest differences in recording your own album versus a Strokes album? I noticed in sound check you had a lot of horns and keyboards.

JC: Yeah, right. Well the horns are only for two songs and the keyboards…yeah, well, basically I’ve always written the songs 50/50 keyboards and guitars, and I used to just filter it all though to two guitars, bass, drums. Now if I write it on keyboard it stays on keyboard.

INT: And I read in earlier interviews that you said, “Keyboards – it’s hard to make them non-cheesy.”

JC: Well it’s a finer line than guitar sounds. I mean, keyboard sounds…it’s very easy to sound terrible, yeah.

INT: So your solo album is called Phrazes For The Young which is an Oscar Wilde reference. How did that come about, and do you have a favourite phrase for the young?

JC: Well, yeah “Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young”. Yeah, I stumbled upon that, and I just, I don’t know if it was just a book of poems, but it was just like 20 or 40 quotes. It seemed like I’d stumbled upon some great hidden wisdom and I was, you know, excited to learn. And as I read it more and more, the more kind of witty…I want to say pithy but I don’t really know what that word means, like, you know, kind of criticisms or just kind of mocking humanity and how superficial we are. So it wasn’t really what I was hoping for but it was cool. But it stuck with me, and things I like it just…think about him a lot. So now it’s shortened and I thought I’d have the almost cooler title.

INT: And add a “z”.

JC: You know I thought that’s how he spelled it. Honestly that’s what I thought. And just recently, like seven/eight months ago I realised that’s not how he spelled it. Whoops.

INT: Too late.

JC: I couldn’t…with an “s” it just looked all wrong. My favourite phrase of his…probably, what was it…? Something like, “The old believe everything, the middle age suspect everything and the young know everything.”

INT: So aside from Oscar Wilde what are the other influences on this album and what are you listening to these days?

JC: What am I listening to? Oh, I don’t know I like listening to everything. There’s too many songs…I don’t know how to narrow it down. Somewhere between Radiohead and Frank Sinatra or, I don’t know. There’s just all kinds of stuff. Old hip-hop stuff from, like, ‘80s…or underground-sounding weirdo rock, like classical stuff. I don’t really know actual bands that much I just know songs. I just hear, like, parts.

INT: And they kinda stick?

JC: Yeah I hear, like, musical parts, and sometimes not even in a song.

INT: Well you’ve had a knack putting together catchy melodies. Is that how it comes about? Just hearing bits and pieces around?

JC: I think that’s how it works, I think in my mind. I mean for me, I think I just…I latch on to things that I like and I just carry them around and I just add a lot and learn how to play them, figure out a list that I’ll stick with. Then I move along and just somehow, subconsciously either it could be a week later or four years later, when I’m writing it influences what literally pops out.

INT: Also I’ve heard some interesting contributions that you’ve done with The Lonely Island or Santogold. How did those come about and what was it like working with such diverse people?

JC: Lonely Island, I know them…yeah they’re just super funny. Just working with them…actually that was probably the near funnest I’ve ever had recording music to be honest..

INT: I can see how it would be.

JC: They’re not even like…aside from the comedy which is, you know, spectac...(laughs). Just they way they work. They were just very smart and like, the best idea in the room worked; the best idea in the room wins. It was just the way of working, I was like, “This is, like, so cool.” I usually just struggle debating.

INT: So on an SNL note, you’re covering or you already did cover an SNL Christmas song. What made you do that?

JC: I don’t know. Uh, well, no. I always thought that was cool…I thought it could be a good song. I thought if I ever had to do a Christmas song for some reason…

INT: That would be it.

JC: …that would be the song.

INT: So how do you keep busy on tour, and where’s your favourite spot you’ve toured so far?

JC: Well as you know when I ran into you I’d just started…

INT: Playing soccer?

JC: …playing soccer for the first time. Someone just found a ball and that was the first time, believe it or not...or maybe in the past we’ve just done random throwing of balls around during sound check let’s not ignore.

INT: And you’ve got one show left on your residency in LA, is that correct? How’s that been?

JC: Two.

INT: Two?

JC: Yeah.

INT: Two.

JC: It’s been really, well, terrible I should say because I’m in San Francisco.

INT: Exactly. Exactly. I was in LA last weekend. It’s okay.

JC: It’s a friggin shithole (laughs). No, it’s been going great.

INT: Would you do it again?

JC: Would I do it again…would I have to spend as much money? Or is it just a fantasy that I could play the shows…(unintelligible)

INT: Either.

JC: Well “A” no, “B” yes.

INT: One last, what’s next?

JC: I’m just going to work on music and we’ll see what happens. I’ll probably want to do this show…(unintelligible)…because it’s pretty funny.

INT: Alright, well thanks so much for your time.

JC: Thank you.

INT: Have a great show.

JC: I hope you enjoy it.

Transcribed by G Harbl.